Often, very often, I think about you. And often I smile. You’ve changed my life, both positively and negatively. But that’s why I love you, you’ve always told me how it was.
I’ve decided, once the time has come for me to leave, I’ll stick around for a bit longer. I’d hate to be without you. I just hope after I have to leave you’ll meet me at another time. I know you think I live my life like a romantic drama, maybe even a comedy, but sometimes that’s the only thing that keeps me here. I see people letting their lives go and I want to shake them and tell them to hold onto them as tightly as possible. I’d tell them there will come a time when they’ll need them there. I’d plead with them to listen. I’d beg. I’d beg on my knees at first. Then I’d get on my hands and knees and beg at their feet. If only they’d listen.
Tomorrow will be a new day. I’ll spend it alone. As I’ve done for several months now. I’ll probably cry at some point. I’ll even think of suicide. I’ll get mad at you and angry and think of how stupid all of this is. I’ll then contemplate why I’m where I am.
My work is going well. I’m getting busier. I’m making a name for myself. But it feels worthless without you around.
Often, very often, I think about you. And often I smile. I’ll always miss you. I hope one day you’ll find me and tell me it’ll all be okay.
I’m scared about what the future holds. I hope one day you’ll be there to hold my hand.