I Close My Eyes

She came through the door, smiled at me as she said hi. I close my eyes and I can still see her there. It has been many months, but she’s still here by my side. I close my eyes, I remember her looking across the room at me and smiling. She would make jests about how terrible my jokes were. They were. I’d do whatever I could to make her smile. Now I’m not smiling. I close my eyes and I can feel her by the sound of rushing water. I can feel her eyes. Her warmth. Her brilliance. I close my eyes, I open them and I’m alone. The separation of then and now is disconcerting and dark. It’s the way it was supposed to happen my friends say. I hate that. As I open my soul to you, you probably wouldn’t understand. Maybe you would. It’s the memories that kill a little part of my soul when I’m reminded of you. I’m not deserted, I watched as you drive off. If only I said don’t go, or stop. I’m sorry I didn’t. I close my eyes and hope I’ll see you again. I close my eyes and remember. I remember you.

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